Of Mortar and Mayhem

Spreading out newspaper on the kitchen counter, I assembled everything I thought I would need. Bag of mortar, smooth spatula, sponge, gloves, the glue bottle and gluing stick (in case a tile popped off).

The instructions on the bag state that it's seven parts mortar to one part water, or one pound of mortar to two-and-a-half ounces of water. That's right, ounces. That sent me scrambling through the kitchen looking for something that would measure that little liquid, as no measuring cup I own measures less than four ounces. I managed to dig up the baby medicine spoon, which is measured in millilitres. Back to the computer for an ounces to millilitres conversion, and we were on our way. I mixed one half pound of mortar to 37.5 millilitres of water and set it to cure for 10 minutes

That's when the kitchen faucet gave up the ghost. Thankfully, it was not spraying all over the place; it just would not shut off. At all. I crawled under the sink to turn the water off, and could only turn off the cold water feed. The hot water feed would not budge and I was afraid I was going to snap one of the pipes or valves, if I continued to work at it. Head under the sink, I give directions to my son: Grab the phone. Dial this number. Tell him that the water won't turn off, and I can't get it to turn off under the sink. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to come home

While water streamed out of the faucet, I worked the mortar in between the tiles, doing my best to follow directions and the picture of what the finished pot is supposed to look like.

It's obviously not perfect. The white tile was a bad choice, as it disappeared once the grout was dry. But it's not too bad for a first attempt.